This post is dedicated to Jasmine Desai and her gang of office colleagues who want to quit their jobs without any notice period or salary sacrifices.
1. Pay 100 bucks (or 500, depending on how badly you want to be fired) to a beggar and bring him to work with you. Tell your boss, "Oh.. I'm sorry.. Didn't you know today was bring-a-beggar-to-work day??"
2. Take a colleague, go to the corner most spot in your office, just ensure that the spot is visible from your boss' cabin. The moment your boss glances at you, start whispering to your colleague, while still maintaining an eye contact with the boss. GUARANTEED to spook him out!!!
3. Make sure you get caught while stealing the coffee machine from your office. The expression on your face when you're caught should be, "Oops." Practice the poker face.
4. Tell your colleagues in the office you have officially converted to the VooDooForGoodLuck (pronounce it fast so that no one knows what you're saying) religion.... bring some freaky looking dolls (not Barbie) at work and begin your day by idol worshipping. Chant loudly thrice a day during office timings.
5. Get caught while dozing in a meeting where your boss is speaking. ALWAYS doze off when he starts to speak, but be enthusiastic when your colleagues do.
6. Start telling everyone how much you enjoy watching DEXTER. During your lunch break, coffee break, briefings and meetings keep quoting Dexter and tell everyone how you justify Dexter's deeds. Then collect huge knives and keep them in your pen holder mug on your table.
7. Get to work early, and leave anonymous notes in a handwriting which can never be proved to be yours, or to be genuinely authentic, ask your 5 year old niece to write it for you: "You're being watched," "I know what you did last winter, monsoons and rainy season," "Get a pet dog. The time is right," "Fire someone today, the gods wish so." And stare at him without blinking when he's talking to you about, anything.
8. Tell him ghost stories on your coffee breaks and lunch breaks. Compile a list of spooky websites and keep sending it to him. Then keep staring at him when he briefs you for your targets. He might ask you to stop sending such mails. Tell him you have stopped, and don't blink when you say that.
9. Start dressing up like Amy Winehouse. Don't forget the fake hair and the make-up. (to be tried in cases of Extreme Desperation)
10. Start bringing your dog to the office. Tell your boss there's no place else you could leave him and you can't afford to leave him at a dog-sitter's. Tell him the pet is not vaccinated still.. it's on your to-do list.
All of the above, or the combination of three or more is guaranteed to have you fired. No questions asked, no salaries cut!
1. Pay 100 bucks (or 500, depending on how badly you want to be fired) to a beggar and bring him to work with you. Tell your boss, "Oh.. I'm sorry.. Didn't you know today was bring-a-beggar-to-work day??"
2. Take a colleague, go to the corner most spot in your office, just ensure that the spot is visible from your boss' cabin. The moment your boss glances at you, start whispering to your colleague, while still maintaining an eye contact with the boss. GUARANTEED to spook him out!!!
3. Make sure you get caught while stealing the coffee machine from your office. The expression on your face when you're caught should be, "Oops." Practice the poker face.
4. Tell your colleagues in the office you have officially converted to the VooDooForGoodLuck (pronounce it fast so that no one knows what you're saying) religion.... bring some freaky looking dolls (not Barbie) at work and begin your day by idol worshipping. Chant loudly thrice a day during office timings.
5. Get caught while dozing in a meeting where your boss is speaking. ALWAYS doze off when he starts to speak, but be enthusiastic when your colleagues do.
6. Start telling everyone how much you enjoy watching DEXTER. During your lunch break, coffee break, briefings and meetings keep quoting Dexter and tell everyone how you justify Dexter's deeds. Then collect huge knives and keep them in your pen holder mug on your table.
7. Get to work early, and leave anonymous notes in a handwriting which can never be proved to be yours, or to be genuinely authentic, ask your 5 year old niece to write it for you: "You're being watched," "I know what you did last winter, monsoons and rainy season," "Get a pet dog. The time is right," "Fire someone today, the gods wish so." And stare at him without blinking when he's talking to you about, anything.
8. Tell him ghost stories on your coffee breaks and lunch breaks. Compile a list of spooky websites and keep sending it to him. Then keep staring at him when he briefs you for your targets. He might ask you to stop sending such mails. Tell him you have stopped, and don't blink when you say that.
9. Start dressing up like Amy Winehouse. Don't forget the fake hair and the make-up. (to be tried in cases of Extreme Desperation)
10. Start bringing your dog to the office. Tell your boss there's no place else you could leave him and you can't afford to leave him at a dog-sitter's. Tell him the pet is not vaccinated still.. it's on your to-do list.
All of the above, or the combination of three or more is guaranteed to have you fired. No questions asked, no salaries cut!
or else, simply tell your boss "you are fired" :P
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