Women's Rights, Human Rights: A Joke?

This is the true story of a girl from a town in Rewari, Haryana, fighting for her right to life in Mumbai.

Dolly Dabla turned turned 18 years old this August. She was three years old when her mother died due to a prolonged fever. The reasons for her death still remain uncertain to this very day. Shortly after, Dolly's father remarried.

Her step-mother was not comfortable, it seems, to have a three-year-old Dolly stay with her father and his new family. The step-mother had three kids from a previous marriage, who were accepted by Dolly's father. But Dolly was not allowed a mother or a real family. So it was decided that she stay with relatives from her paternal side, namely, her paternal grandmother, aunt (elder sister of her father), and uncles- Chachaji and Tauji. Her paternal grand mother expired soon.

Dolly's maternal aunts and grand parents asked her father to hand over the child's custody to them, assuring him that they will take good care of her. But her paternal aunt and father refused.

Domestic Violence & Abuse
As Dolly grew up, she was subjected to verbal abuse on a daily basis. Her younger paternal uncle (Chachaji) even beat her up occasionally  She was made to do all household work from a very young age. She used to cook food for everybody in the family: from preparing vegetables to chapatis. The family didn't have a proper gas system, so she made food on a chulha. Her aunt's son, who is in his early 20's is often picked up the local cops for suspected role in thievery and burglary.

Irregular School Fees
Dolly's father paid a certain amount to her paternal aunt (Buaji) and uncle (Tauji) as school fees. Most of the time they didn't submit the fees. There were arrears of her school fees and her Principal said that the admission would be cancelled due to that. Dolly mentioned this to her father, and he then started submitting school fees directly to the school. This angered her Tauji and he sued Dolly's father, his own brother, for not giving money. So the father started giving money back to the family for her school fees in order to avoid litigation. The family now became a little more careful, and started paying school fees on time, more or less.

For her Board Exam fees, her school friend's father paid around INR10,000/- for Dolly's fees or she would not have been allowed a seat in 10th Standard.

Lack of Support for Education
Dolly chose Commerce stream for her 11th and 12th Standard. She needed some additional support in the form of coaching classes or tuition for Accounts. Her Buaji and Tauji refused that. Since she did all the household work, from cooking to washing utensils and cleaning, she hardly had enough time or energy to concentrate on her studies. Nobody took her education seriously. It was only a mere formality to them since they were paid "school fees" by her father.

Her Daily Routine
She woke up early morning to attend school and began her day by making morning tea for everyone in the house. She was then permitted to get ready for school. She was not given breakfast or lunch by her aunt. When she requested her aunt to at least give her a glass of milk in the morning, the latter replied, "Go and ask your father to pay first." ("Jaake Apne baap se bol ki paise de.")

So the girl went empty stomach to school. Sometimes, when she had the money for lunch during school recess, she'd eat in the school canteen. Most of the times, she'd be too depressed to eat and would often skip lunch.

She would come back home after school and was made to prepare lunch for everyone. Tired and hungry, she did as told. Then after lunch, she'd clean the house - the usual dusting, sweeping and mobbing. As the evening dawned, she'd make dinner for everyone in the night. Sometimes, when she finished preparing dinner early, she'd watch TV. But Buaji would switch off the TV and scold her for completing the work too soon.

Daily Humiliation & Insults
Dolly's identity in the house was that of a maid. She was repeatedly humiliated in front of everyone in the neighbourhood for all the work that she did. In fact, in metropolitan cities like Delhi and Mumbai, people treat maids with respect, for the fear that they might never turn up again. But this was not the case with Dolly. She was treated much worse than a maid servant, for, the family knew there was no place and no one she could go to.

This year, on her eighteenth birthday, her Tauji told her, "It would have been better if I had petted a dog, instead of raising you." ("Tujh se acha toh mai kisi kutte ko paal leta") Dolly's father was sitting right next to him and he didn't say a word.

Negligence of Health
Earlier this year, her menstrual cycle continued for three months. There was constant bleeding and she felt very weak due to this continued loss of blood from the body. Her Buaji did not take her to the doctor; she instead called a witch-doctor (as she had done when Dolly's mother had taken ill after child-birth). That did nothing to improve her condition (nor her mother's, leading to her death). She suffered from excruciating pain and loss of blood. Even in that condition she was made to do all household work. Her face became pale-yellow due to loss of blood and no nutrition.

Complete Forced Isolation- No contact with maternal relatives or friends
She was not allowed to talk to anyone in the neighbourhood or even have female friends.

Her maternal aunt (Maasi) wanted to keep her with her for a few days during her school vacations, but Dolly's Buaji refused. She was only allowed to meet her maternal uncle (Mamaji) for 1-2 days in Delhi. Those days were relieving for her and often, she didn't feel like returning to her Buaji's place. Her Mamaji and his wife used to pamper her and care for her. They also noticed her torn clothes and shoes in which she'd come to visit them. They often asked Dolly if she was alright, and she would not say a word.

Then, consequently, these meetings stopped. For the past 1-2 years, she was denied meeting even her Mamaji. Buaji took away her phone and forbid her to be in touch with any one. She didn't have any contact with anyone for the past two years.

Attempted Suicide
In 2009, sad from constant taunts and verbal abuse, mental torture on a routine basis, Dolly decided to end her life.  Since she had no one to talk to or share her problems with anyone, she saw no other option. She took sleeping pills and was unconscious for two days. Even then, her Buaji or Tauji did not take her to the doctor, perhaps due to the fear of disclosure.

Her situation was getting worse and it was impossible for her to carry on.

Her Journey to Mumbai
In September this year, Dolly left her house and came to her Maasi's place in Mumbai. In that one meeting she had with her Maasi and her daughters couple of years ago, she felt like she could also be happy like the rest of teenage children. She realized that if she stayed with her paternal family or step-mother, she would end her life eventually. She decided she deserved a life full of dignity and self-respect. Having a natural aptitude to sketch and paint, she wants to become a painter or a Chartered Accountant. So she decided that there was a place in the world she could go to, and someone could listen to her plight and support her. She mentioned every bit of her story to her Maasi and her family. They were shocked.

They called her father, and informed him about his daughter's condition. He was more shocked at his daughter's journey rather than the news of her daughter's attempted suicide and pathetic living conditions.

Reality remains that he is too meek to stand up for his daughter's rights. Her step mother is not willing to let her stay with her family, and Dolly fears for her life and her safety in their presence. So she knew she had to decide and take a step. Mumbai was the only answer.

Her Maasi and her family is very understanding and caring. They don't even want any money from her father to raise her, or for her education.They are willing and more than ready to provide for her and care for her, her education, and mostly, her life. Her Maasi is still moved by the death of her younger sister (Dolly's mother) and would not want to lose her daughter. They have allowed Dolly's father to visit her in Mumbai as and when he pleases.

To be on the right side of law, they got Dolly write and sign a Non-Conformation Report (NCR) with the local police (in Thane), who took her statement that she was in Mumbai of her own will and wanted to stay with Maasi's family. The cops supported her, after they heard the entire story.

Women's Rights and Criminal Intimidation
When Dolly arrived at her Maasi's place in Mumbai, the latter called and informed her father. They even asked him to come over and meet her and decide her fate. He visited her after 10 days and went back, only to get his aunt and brother to Mumbai to threaten and intimidate Maasi's family.

It seems they had a connection in the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI), named Naresh Indora. Mr. Indora called the local police station in Thane and leveraged his professional might, and asked them to systematically harass Maasi's family. The cops now acted out of fear and "orders" from Mr. Naresh Indora. Naresh Indora's mother accompanied the aunt and the brothers as a fake Dadi (paternal grand-mother) and lied to the cops as to how much she missed her grand-daughter and how in such cold weather she had come all the way to Mumbai to save her grand-daughter from the evil clutches of her Maasi.

When contacted by the cops, Maasi's family came to them yet again, and clarified the entire matter. After questioning Dolly, they understood the matter and asserted the girl's freedom to stay where she pleased. Hearing this, CBI Officer Naresh Indora's mother threatened - in front of the Mumbai cops - that she would get Maasi's daughters kidnapped and raped, overnight.

Two days ago, they grilled this 18 year old girl to death, taking her statements - yet again. The cops say they are acting "under pressure" from CBI Officer Naresh Indora.

The young girl will appear for her Board exams in Feb-March 2013 and this is the ordeal that she is made to face.

I googled Women's Cell help unit in Thane, Mumbai just to extend support to this kid, and to my surprise there are none. The contact numbers are not picked up. Websites asking for supporting the girl child and women's rights have 'Donate Now" options on their front page, rather than having a toll-free number or hotline to assist needy or urgent cases. Seems like help is almost impossible to come by for a woman or a kid in distress. I urge the readers to assist Dolly Dabla in her fight against inhumanity, and the legal system being polluted by the likes of CBI officers like Naresh Indora.

Such is the state of women and girl child in India. Simply by wearing jeans and allowed night-shifts in a male dominated industry doesn't make a woman liberated or modern. I think there's more to it. It is not even about women's liberation. It is about humanity and the right to life, right to dignity.

I know this story because I am at the centre of it, but I often wonder how many such stories are there in far-off places like U.P. and Haryana. And if there's some way in which we can reach these exploited women and offer them help - and above all, hope - let's do it..