Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - Movie Review

Sorry, it took me a long time to write this review... but I had been travelling and now that am back in my turf, my fingers feel comfortable. Well, I didn't miss the movie even in my travels-- saw it First Day Second Show (2D) and caught the show in my own city as well (3D) -- all in a span of 4 days from the day of its release. Yes, am bragging.

So, well, yes, it's definitely worth a watch, as expected.


Jack Sparrow at his disgusting, deviously charming self, as expected.
Penelope Cruz looking splendid and acting the part, too, as expected.
Geoffrey Rush, tantalising as a seasoned actor, as expected.
The beauty-meets-beast aura of the lovely mermaids is entertaining, as expected.
Hans Zimmer's score, engrosses your mood all the way till your soul, as expected.


What was different is this is the first time the movie was directed by Rob Marshall, taking the heavyweight crown of expectations from Gore Verbinski (Director, Pirates: Parts 1-3). Marshall's incredibly talented: his last claim to fame was the magnificent Chicago. He does a fine job, if not perfect, and brings out a different shade to Captain Jack Sparrow altogether. Perhaps this is the first of the Pirates film that showcases Sparrow's philosophical take on life, death, eternal life - and even love. You actually see his sensitive side. 


From the moment go, the film is a continuous series of events, packed with action, laughter and thought provoking matters like compassion, "sterlings" (Sparrow's equivalent for "feelings"). But make no mistake, despite the mushy interventions, there's lot of action and adventure. 


Penelope Cruz displays a character that's gritty, realist despite being vulnerable. Her natural stunning yet vulnerable looks do justice to the role. Johnny Depp walks the walk and in some scenes you are treated to see him genuinely brooding. Ian McShane, as Black Beard, looks his part of voo-doo villain, and Cruz's father. They actually look related. There are talented actors like Judi Dench and Roger Allam in a blink-and-miss roles. Everybody knows five seconds of act in Pirates movie is never a bad move. 


The first scene of a chaotic London embracing the paranoia of Captain Jack Sparrow's trial is awesome, as is the light-house explosion combating the beautiful and deadly mermaids. The cinematography is one of a kind. The treatment in the form of colours - turquoise, yellow and light blue is simply enriching.

It's intriguing to note Sparrow's fascination slash obsession in finding the fabled Fountain of Youth, racing with the Spanish and the English, yet he doesn't want the prize for himself. Ultimate sacrifice for a love that he refuses to acknowledge, or just the carefree nature of a pirate, taking every fascination as nothing but a journey for pure caper? 


Mermaids, Zombies, Penelope Cruz, blue, green, yellow, Hector, Fountain of Youth and Captain Jack Sparrow -- you feel like a kid in a candy store.. with ample of things to do for adults, too ;) if you know what I mean...


The script dwells into various factors of good and evil, magic sword of Blackbeard, Sparrow's descent into the manipulative and sensitive zones and whole load of adventure. It does justice to your time. And imagination.


Stepping out tonight to watch Kung Fu Panda -2 :) Review, coming up :)

Targets and Poetry

She comes as the rain, in a township of clouds.
The heaven tumbled upwards, waiting for a new ruler.
The brown earth could never make love to the green.
He was waiting for her to rain down.


Kritika looked at the random lines she'd just written. Lot of clouds, rain, heaven, she thought. Well what can you expect when you've been flying non-stop for over 72 hours, she lamented back. She sighed, looked around the almost empty flight. There was nothing much to notice on this afternoon flight. To her right sat a girl with long hair, and longer nails, presumably first time on her flight: she asked a woman sitting in front where the lavatory was.


In front of her, there was a woman with a child, a girl of about seven, paying devious attention to Kritika: she asked her about her lipstick, her finger ring, rows with blue trapeze diamonds, and her mystery-shade-of-blue shoe. To her back, sat yet another woman with a child, a boy of about ten, voicing the effect of the altitude on his stomach every time the plane gained or lost a few feet.


Kritika sighed. The window seat bored her; it was bright and sunny outside and most of all, her migraine was nagging her about her writer's blog. She soon spotted the problem: the businesswoman in her was handling her artist's targets. She sighed again. There was nothing she could do about it.

Coming up...

The US makes Hitler look good

"[...] So I am told this is the Golden Age
And Gold is the reason for the wars we wage [...]"


- A song


A decade ago when the media all over the world screamed as to how some obscure "terrorist" Osama bin Laden had bombed the Twin Towers, little did we know that the world was heading towards a Third World War. 


It might be recalled that a nondescript incident had triggered the First World War with the assassination of one Archduke Franz Ferdinand. It was a curious incident, completely irrelevant: No body saw the coming of the World War I with the assassination of the Austrian crown prince. 


Ditto with 9/11. The only differentiating factor is the magnanimous quantum and reach of Media and Communication in our times. Our decision was ready-made for us: why the US should attack and bring to "justice" the very shabby looking, jehads who ruined the picture perfectness of the great American Dream. They won. We were sympathetic. So much so, we forgot the "eye for an eye" doctrine of retribution which Gandhi warned us about. 


If there is a thing such as a United Nations or the International Court of Justice or some other fancy sounding International Community or Forum, with a spine, back-bone or even neck, the US would have been stopped from taking the matters in "his" own hands. Just a George-Orwell-like reminder of how much eye-wash everything really is, in this world of ours.


Three years after the 9/11 incident, there were hushed voices in the form of documentaries and articles which said that the destruction of Twin Towers and devastation of Pentagon were orchestrated by the US and bin Laden was only an excuse to enter West Asia and re-organisation of oil trade around the world. Our parents thought that conspiracy theories were getting too much attention and after all, America was beloved by all.


The great American Dream was, and unfortunately still is, lust-worthy: Engineers, Bankers, Lawyers, Accountants, Executives, Models, Actors, Astronauts, ... everyone wants a slice of that life.


No one cared to read or find out some ridiculous revelations- back in the US, in the aftermath of 9/11, bars were filled with youngsters craving for sympathy sex and one-night-stands. An excuse for a one-night-stand, are you serious??


The Bill Clinton administration relied on the "intelligence" of bin Laden and his "terrorist" aides for news from Afghanistan and Russia borders. The US then decided it was time to go after the big fish.


For a nation filled with the smartest cops and finest operatives and researchers in the world, finding a man or his outfit should have been a matter of days. 


Now we read of war crimes committed by US troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. Prisoners (read civilians at the wrong place, wrong time) are stripped naked, and forced to masturbate in front of US officers, one of them being a woman (Lynddie England). 

All of this is widely reported. The guy who leaked this news "Classified millitary intel", Bradley Manning, is awaiting a probable death penalty. Well known organisations such as WikiLeaks, and well renowned international newspapers like The Guardian have all carried in-depth, detailed reports as to the crimes that US has committed. 

Prisoner Kasim Mehaddi Hilas testifies regarding his experiences at Abu Ghraib, telling investigators that Private Charles Graner had cuffed him to the bars of a cell window, after Hilas had asked Graner what time it was because he wanted to pray. Graner left him, feet dangling above the floor, for almost five hours. Hilas also detailed events he had witnessed of Graner and some of his fellow soldiers sodomizing and otherwise abusing other detainees. These events were also detailed by other prisoners including some of the victims themselves. 


According to Hilas, Graner also "repeatedly threw the detainees' meals into the toilets and said, 'Eat it"


This is just a small account of US' supposed "War on Terror" It's official: the US is in the same league as Hitler, and probably much worse.


Petitions, letters and mass-movements have begun, even in the US, but what will be the outcome of that? A lot of reports have been written and published and read and sympathised with; investigative journalism has been carried out, but what will be the final outcome? Is there a court strong enough to try Donald Rumsfeld, Bush, Tony Blair and Obama? 


Speaking of Obama.. Here's what he said when the US Press asked him to comment on Bradley Manning's detention during the trial for letting out "sensitive information" to WikiLeaks: 


"... I have actually asked the Pentagon whether or not the procedures that have been taken in terms of his confinement are appropriate and are meeting our basic standards. They assured me that they are. I can't go into details about some of their concerns, but some of this has to do with Private Manning's safety as well."


Now that Osama is killed, the US is eying Pakistan. It's the new villain. Obviously, India is politically hurt. The US might want to "occupy" Pakistan, just as it occupied Iraq and Afghanistan, and "set things right." If that happens, Pakistan will become just another sorry place like Iraq. And considering some of the radical religious outfits are there in India as well, it will be a matter of time when US might want to step-in here and "set things right". India has always played the gracious, nervous host to the US (who doesn't?) and we might as well be seen as a country committed to fighting terrorism. 


But will our Government be able to protect innocent civilians from becoming just another victims of US army boys and girls, who hunt and torture for pleasure?

Movie Review - Fast and Furious - 5

For a long time I wondered if I should spend some time reviewing Fast and Furious -5....

It's a crazy film... but the first two scenes are worth it. One is the opening shot, depicting the skinny Mia and blue-eyed-boy-cop-turned-hero Bryan rescuing always-the-hero Dom, who is en route to prison for a really long time. Followed by the scene where these guys are thrown off a bridge into the sea in a car. That was totally crazy.

The plot is.... nevermind. Here's what must have transpired between Chris Morgan, one of the screen-play writers, and Justin Lin, Director:

Morgan: But tell me.. If Dom is really the family guy why does he care about getting a heist job done, rather than actually concentrating on his pregnant sister's future???

Lin: Beat it, Morgan... how many times do I have to tell you... I have cars, Paul Walker's eyes, Diesel's body works. and good blasts... a bikini... why are you bothering me??? Jeez, Dexter Morgan is better than you!

The performances are mediocre, but then it's the cars that perform in the film. However, sometimes you feel the lack of racing in the film. But the last scene more than compensates for it. The film seems intelligent in bits and pieces, some of the sequences are well orchestrated.

The glorification of the anti-hero in the film is really great. The cops are the enemies, and the long ranger "Last Testament Guy" Johnson decides to side with Dom, thanking the latter for saving his life and trying to side with ethics and "code" of the hero-in-the-villain. The perspective is amazing. And you see it coming.

Everytime Dwayne Johnson appeared on the screen, my jaw just dropped. His one, lone, singular muscle is like a wall.

There is about fifteen minutes of total action footage in the film that is worth a watch. The other thing to notice is the beautiful city of Rio de Janerio. Guess Rio is the flavour of Hollywood this season. The animated scenery of Carlos Saldahna's Rio is much preferable than the dark, actual depiction of the city.

The soundtrack is good, but the best one to come out of the Fast and Furious franchise was the one from Tokyo Drift.

All said and done, I guess the making of the movie will be more fun to watch than the actual film. Watch the film, and go high on cars, ammo, and cars.

How to get fired in 10 days - GUARANTEED

This post is dedicated to Jasmine Desai and her gang of office colleagues who want to quit their jobs without any notice period or salary sacrifices.

1. Pay 100 bucks (or 500, depending on how badly you want to be fired) to a  beggar and bring him to work with you. Tell your boss, "Oh.. I'm sorry.. Didn't you know today was bring-a-beggar-to-work day??"

2. Take a colleague, go to the corner most spot in your office, just ensure that the spot is visible from your boss' cabin. The moment your boss glances at you, start whispering to your colleague, while still maintaining an eye contact with the boss. GUARANTEED to spook him out!!!

3. Make sure you get caught while stealing the coffee machine from your office. The expression on your face when you're caught should be, "Oops." Practice the poker face.

4. Tell your colleagues in the office you have officially converted to the VooDooForGoodLuck (pronounce it fast so that no one knows what you're saying) religion.... bring some freaky looking dolls (not Barbie) at work and begin your day by idol worshipping. Chant loudly thrice a day during office timings.

5. Get caught while dozing in a meeting where your boss is speaking. ALWAYS doze off when he starts to speak, but be enthusiastic when your colleagues do.

6. Start telling everyone how much you enjoy watching DEXTER. During your lunch break, coffee break, briefings and meetings keep quoting Dexter and tell everyone how you justify Dexter's deeds. Then collect huge knives and keep them in your pen holder mug on your table.

7. Get to work early, and leave anonymous notes in a handwriting which can never be proved to be yours, or to be genuinely authentic, ask your 5 year old niece to write it for you: "You're being watched," "I know what you did last winter, monsoons and rainy season," "Get a pet dog. The time is right," "Fire someone today, the gods wish so." And stare at him without blinking when he's talking to you about, anything.


8. Tell him ghost stories on your coffee breaks and lunch breaks. Compile a list of spooky websites and keep sending it to him. Then keep staring at him when he briefs you for your targets. He might ask you to stop sending such mails. Tell him you have stopped, and don't blink when you say that.

9. Start dressing up like Amy Winehouse. Don't forget the fake hair and the make-up. (to be tried in cases of Extreme Desperation)

10. Start bringing your dog to the office. Tell your boss there's no place else you could leave him and you can't afford to leave him at a dog-sitter's. Tell him the pet is not vaccinated still.. it's on your to-do list.

All of the above, or the combination of three or more is guaranteed to have you fired. No questions asked, no salaries cut!

Movie Review - RIO

First of all, I want to fly.
I want to Samba.
If am a bird, then I want to be a rocket.

Wanted to watch RIO because I needed the colour and the music. Nothing beats the Brazilian beats, the Ramba and the Salsa and the zeal which is so thankfully contagious! Caught up with the making of RIO and it didn't seem too bad at the first peek.. and I thought to myself, to beat the blues I'll catch it up. You see, adults need to have a good time and remind themselves that there's so much of fun and beauty out there. This movie is a beautiful affirmation.

Just before the movie began, there was a short film by Blue Sky Studios on THE creature and THE nut which began the hilarious franchise of ICE AGE. That was got the kids all excited for the movie, I think. The laughter in the movie theatre was so contagious. This, I think, is a big achievement for Carlos Saldanha. The detailing, the characters, the sound and the colours were so genuine and appealing. The only cheeky thing was the kiss that got Blu's heartbeat throbbing in his wings and he flew. But may be that's just me (!)

The opening beats of "I wanna Party" by Will.i.am, Jamie Foxx and Anne Hathaway, were the real reason that I wanted to see this movie in the theatre. Darkness and Dolby Digital Sound System can mesmerise any soul. You could hear it here. The song is called HOT WINGS :) Aptly named. The song so represents the enthusiasm of Brazil. That country has always attracted me... The statue of Christ in Rio de Janerio was the only reason I wanted to visit it (and the reason that you could just waltz on the beach with.. ahem.. the appropriate clothing meant only for beaches and.. [nevermind, probably edited], come a close second). But after watching the film, I guess I wouldn't miss dancing at the Carnival for the world.

Guys in love should dedicate this song to their women "I'm telling the world" by Taio Cruz. It's definitely the flavour song of the season.
Jemaine Clement as the villain bird does a fantastic job. His song had the funniest lyrics: "Like an abandoned school, I have no principal" and so on. Jesse Eisenberg was alright. Somehow, I hate him for doing a movie based on Mark Zuckerberg's life. That apart, can he cut his curly hair, or shave his head so that I focus more on his facial muscles and find out if he can really perform or just Facebook. I've lost all respect for Anne Hathway for hosting the Oscars this year with fabulous outfits and plastic smiles and even more toxic jokes. Jamie Foxx is a rock-star.

Carlos Saldanha had admitted that he wanted to do justice to Brazil, most importantly, Rio de Janerio. Thumpy beats was a key feature. The hills, the sea, lights, slums and the green forests, the madness for football and a love for dance - you name it, and it was all there. That kind of colour and treatment uplifts you. The story was simple and tight. Towards the end, you'd find yourself, preferring a happy magical ending somehow instead of wanting to place everything in logic. And that's not easy for people like me, who go to watch a movie and still prefer not to leave their brains behind (a VERY important requirement for watching Bollywood movies). It's amazing how the need for a magical ending just grips you out of nowhere and all you want to do is groove to the HOT WINGS track again and plan a trip to Rio ASAP.

And that's the track am going to listen to on my way to court tomorrow.

To magic, and to new acquaintances! :)

Cherished Dream or a Soul's Secret?

The Drive

What if the dream was a memory?
A memory of a soul, who has come so far.
What if the cherished, ethereal dream was actually a memory stored in the deepest and mysterious recesses of the mind? A secret lesson of the soul? Something that the soul had picked up from a previous journey, not limited by time... only limited by consciousness.

Sometimes I think that instead of the soul journeying and finding its meaning and purpose, it's us who discover the secrets of our soul. I believe we spend time wondering what our soul is all about. What does it want us to see, to realise, to re-discover.

People say we have all the answers. Enlightened people say that divinity is within us, engraved to the core. But consciousness blocks it. May be in the real world, we only need a good apartment, attractive partner and a modern car. But our soul reminds us there's something else. There will always be something else. Some secret... a lesson learnt back in time... a memory cherished so badly that it becomes a dream. And we wait for it to be fulfilled.

Till one day you understand that the perfect dream already happened.