Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Fear


Morning wakes up
Beautiful, as always, but my dream goes…
I tie laces together for a race that never stops

Afternoon rises
Swells and bloats
Nothing better to win, no matter what the costs

Evening drops
The sunset into the lap of a trembling sea
I return to a shelter, plotting for tomorrow’s race, my place to be

Former soul
Stops talking to me, and I come to like the silence
So close to something, I understand the distance to everything else

In between
The decay shows up
I try to look somewhere else, a blindness I embrace

Because I fear
I still have so much to lose
In this lonely place, in this falling and failing world

"Tomorrow"


Whenever I listen to this song, I am touched by all that we can be, forgive others for their erratic behaviour, their ignorance and their bitterness. I am sure that time heals everything, and tomorrow, they will be back. Back to the love and promise that life holds.


This song has a lot of religious sentiment about it, it speaks of resurrection, as if Bono's asking Jesus to come back tomorrow, to heal the wounds and the scars. It is a song of hope.

On a personal note, he is known to have written the song after the death of his mother.

The music is quintessential U2, it starts off without a structured tune, the bagpiper leads the way and the violent beats of the guitar and drums take over mid-way. Bono, wanders off from the tune, marking a spontaneous and a sentimental departure.

Lyrics:
Won't you come back tomorrow?
Won't you come back tomorrow?
Won't you come back tomorrow?
Can I sleep tonight?

Outside
Somebody's outside
Somebody's knocking at the door
There's a black car parked
At the side of the road
Don't go to the door
Don't go to the door

I'm going out
I'm going outside mother
I'm going out there

Won't you be back tomorrow?
Won't you be back tomorrow?
Will you be back tomorrow?

Who broke the window?
Who broke down the door?
Who tore the gutter?
And who was he for?
Who healed the wounds?
Who heals the scars?

Open the door
Open the door

Won't you come back tomorrow?
Won't you be back tomorrow?
Will you be back tomorrow?
Can I sleep tonight?

Cause I want you...I...I want you...I really...I...I want...I...I...
I want you to be back tomorrow!
I want you to be back tomorrow!
Will you be back tomorrow?

La...la...la...la...la...la...

Won't you be back tomorrow?
Won't you be back tomorrow?
Will you be back tomorrow?
Open up, open up
To the lamb of God
To the love of he who made
The blind to see you
He's coming back
He's coming back
I believe it
Jesus come back

I'm gonna be there
I'm gonna be there mother
I'm gonna be there mother
I'm going out there

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Corruption, Downfall and Death: A Brave New World?


Toll’s 18 today (as of now) and approximately 130 people are injured. Considering the blasts occurred during the peak hours, the perpetrators estimated a much bigger number of casualties, and intended the roads to be decorated with deeper shades of crimson. In a way, they failed: (with due respect to the families of the victims) the impact could have been much bigger. And in a way, they succeeded: People once again were reminded of how fragile and insignificant their lives are.

Our government's formal reaction:
P. Chidambaram, Home Minister: “This is not the failure of intelligence.” 
R.R. Patil, State Home Minsiter: “Avoiding such attacks is a challenge for the Government.”

People stood by each other, helping, reaching out to everyone who needed help.  

Couple of months ago, I was reading a book on Naxalite violence in India. The book offered to explain who these people are exactly, and by far, why they did what they did. It said that Naxalites often used violence as a means or a part of their “tactics” in making themselves heard.

I wondered what could motivate a person or a group of persons to resort to violence to make them heard. Just how feasible is violence as a tactic? Logically, it is. People always stand up and notice casualties. But morally, and humanly speaking, it is not.

On our planet, every single day, children, men and women are evaporated, disabled for the rest of their lives. What for? Is there any kind of socialism, democratic premise or capitalism that should be presented on a pyre of innocent victims? Is it worth it? For oil? Diamonds? Gold?

When I heard that one of the bombs in Mumbai was planted near a school, a feeling of chill swept over me. Causing harm to children who don’t even choose the kind of government to rule, is saddening, to say the least. What could make a group of religious fanatics or self-proclaimed “soldiers of god” do that?

Even when Kasab was sentenced to death, I failed to see how this was a victory for the Indian government, much less for the Indian people or even the Judiciary. Kids like Kasab would do anything for a square meal or even the welfare of their own families. We need to go after the people, the outfits who target children and minds like Kasab and justify killing in the name of religion or a deity. The extent of brainwash is so great that these kids might even come to enjoy killing.

Punishing one single Kasab is not the solution: we just can't stop there and wash our hands off the bigger problem. (To come to think of it, I wonder what kind of rendezvous the government is having with him still.) He’s just a means towards a chilling end. We need to cure the root cause of the problem. There has to be a systematic combat of people who think killing innocent people in any name is justified. To solve the macro, one has to go micro.

When the judgment was passed, people, for some reason, rejoiced. Worse, they were relieved. I voiced my opinion and I was accused of sympathizing with Kasab. A part of the accusation was right; I was sympathizing, but not with Kasab, but with my own people. Kasab was still in jail, wasn’t he, when the Triple Blasts happened in Mumbai, 72 hours back?

When the train blasts occurred on 11 July, 2006, about 209 people were killed and more than 700 were injured. What did we learn from this incident? That the perpetrators knew the pulse of the city; where to attack to gain our attention. And they did.

After 5 years, we are still vulnerable in the local trains. There are no security checks, there is no sufficient number of police men to guard compartments or conduct proper vigilance. What has the State Government done since that day to ensure that train traveling is safe?

Yes, there are CCTV units installed all around CST station. But personally, I have trouble believing that someone is watching over them, interpreting “intelligence” and that I am safe in a train. It’s a risk I take for my bread and butter, like everyone else.

People lost their lives, for nothing. People who survived these blasts, luckily, are hit by the trauma. Aren’t we all? Time has showed that people will stand by people, but what about the government? Home Minister P. Chidambaram concluded the formal Press Conference barely three hours after the fateful incident by saying, “Okay now… I have to get back to Delhi…”

Our State Home Minister is publicly saying what a challenge it is for the State Government to prevent terror. So I am to understand that these attacks will be a part of my daily life? Or will you start by installing CCTVs and being more intelligent with security checks? Will you accept the challenge?

We’ll accommodate people, we’ll tweet, we’ll write articles and blogs, we’ll donate blood. And we’ll suffer and stand up again. Whether the world salutes us or not for whatever spirit, we’ll take our chances. We've got to survive. Till such time mine or my neighbour's  luck runs out.

Earlier I used to discuss with my father and friends about the quality infrastructure, lack of roads and bridges in the city, the country. I feel I was naïve to think of such luxurious thoughts, because  today I talk to them with a thought looming in the background, can we make it back home in one piece?

In November 2010, Outlook carried a cover story about the Niira Radia controversy. I know, we have all read about it and frankly we are all tired of hearing and reading about scams. It’s amazing to know how easily we can get used to stuff that is so unacceptable. This fears me; because we cannot get used to bomb-blasts – anywhere on the planet. Romanticists would argue that death is anyway a part of our lives. So, is that it?

Anyway, about the article, the opening sentences were remarkable: India, the republic, is for sale. You could buy anything, any one, all you need is money. Everything can be sold – from berths in the cabinet ministry to natural resources, anywhere in the country – at the right price.

If this was not shocking enough, our favourite idols like Barkha Dutt and Vir Sanghvi were also heard trading democracy. Now Barkha Dutt needs no introduction. I used to consider her in the same league as Kalpana Chawla, women, and most importantly, human beings who made us proud, and reminded us to be better than ourselves. When I read Dutt’s statements where she said that her interactions with Radia were a part of journalists’ duties, I hurried to read the actual transcripts – hoping, that she was correct. And I was disappointed. Couple of days back, a lawyer on Twitter stated that she wanted to become like Dutt. That is such a big compliment. I always thought that being a hero entailed an awful lot of responsibility.

Our heroes are selling the nation, our government is slandering the likes of Ramdev and Anna Hazare (who try to help people as much as possible), our government cannot safeguard us against the categorical break-down of morality at Wall Street (What happened at Wall Street had little to do with money. It was a failure at a very basic level – that of morality). 

Closer home, we’re not getting any better. Right from the economic downfall, to corruption, we are facing all of it. I know I have written a pretty lengthy blog post about all this, but am afraid that’s just too many words and too little meaning.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Cherished Dream or a Soul's Secret?


The Drive

What if the dream was a memory?
A memory of a soul, who has come so far.
What if the cherished, ethereal dream was actually a memory stored in the deepest and mysterious recesses of the mind? A secret lesson of the soul? Something that the soul had picked up from a previous journey, not limited by time... only limited by consciousness.

Sometimes I think that instead of the soul journeying and finding its meaning and purpose, it's us who discover the secrets of our soul. I believe we spend time wondering what our soul is all about. What does it want us to see, to realise, to re-discover.

People say we have all the answers. Enlightened people say that divinity is within us, engraved to the core. But consciousness blocks it. May be in the real world, we only need a good apartment, attractive partner and a modern car. But our soul reminds us there's something else. There will always be something else. Some secret... a lesson learnt back in time... a memory cherished so badly that it becomes a dream. And we wait for it to be fulfilled.

Till one day you understand that the perfect dream already happened.

Monday, March 28, 2011

INVICTUS


Out of the Night that covers me
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.


In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.


Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.


It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul. 

- William Ernest Henley

Friday, March 18, 2011

Together We Will Live Forever

The Wind brings a new change, a new season.
And when the heart sings songs to the moon and prays at every Cross a Church holds, red in the black, I realise the innocence is still there. A heart that can melt at the thought of a romance, a soulmate and a soul that can tremble at the very thought of hurting someone and being hurt in return.
It's like an ancient tree which realises there's still some gum left in the bark.
It's a great joy to learn that after so much, and after so long, one is not immune to love, or seeming thoughts of love. It's a great joy to learn that something can still hurt. And you can still ache and be pained.
Vital signs.... of life. And that your soul is still breathing, still journeying. Still counting on the wisdom it has accumulated over the previous births... and even this one, still. Still banking on you to listen to your heart and take the right decision, stay true to yourself.
Amen.


For those who love, here's a haunting song, "a bath for your soul" by Clint Mansell: "Together We Will Live Forever"

Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Curious Case of Aarushi Talwar


There are but a few cases that are as mind-blowing as they are gruesome.


In the world's second most populated country, there is bound to be an audience willingly and often unknowingly struck by the media frenzy. These people seem to know the murderer - even before the court has announced its verdict. The media is driven by politics and police - the two most abashed and unapologetic pinnacles of corruption in the country. So when 14-year-old Aarushi Talwar was murdered, fingers were pointed at her father, and mother, as an accomplice. They go on trial tomorrow.


The mother claimed that it was outrageous that she and her husband were being targeted by the cops and the media. She also said that the real killer could possibly be roaming free "out there". People have different reasons and explanations about their understanding of who the killer might be.


The various facts of the case are extremely confusing, and bewildering, in the least. Also, the way this investigation has been handled raises some serious concerns about the implementation and the adherence of basic, universal laws relating to Criminology and the Law of Evidence. Both the aspects of the case have haunted and disturbed me deeply.


The "facts" of the case are as follows.. Before you read this, advise be cautioned that no one for sure knows exactly what happened. So these "facts" are the ones that the media has brought up. We all know the CBI stands for Congress Bureau of Investigation, so there's practically little or no real knowledge any one has. My fear is, if anyone ever will.


On 16th May, 2008, Aarushi Talwar's dead body was discovered at around 6 AM by her father, who, as a part of their routine, went to wake her up. He saw his daughter's throat had been skillfully slit with what the forensic experts later claimed to be done with a surgical knife. Dr. Rajesh Talwar, the father, worked at Fortis Hospital. The wife, Dr. Nupur Talwar, was a dentist with a clinic of her own.


In his statement, Dr. Rajesh Talwar claimed he immediately called his domestic helper, Hemraj, on his cell phone. Hemraj was nowhere to be found. A close servant of the family, he used to help the doctors run their clinic and discharge his duties in the house, too. That morning, he was not even picking up the phone. This aroused suspicion in the minds of the doctors. Everyone was quick to point the finger at Hemraj.


A few hours later, a retired police officer, K.K. Gautam, arrived at the Talwar residence to express his condolences, and by a hunch (as unbelievable as it may sound) he went to the terrace. He apparently must have seen the trail of blood leading up the terrace. But then, why didn't anyone else notice it? The terrace was locked from inside. So he broke open the lock and discovered Hemraj, the domestic helper's body. Even his throat had been slit, with precision.


The autopsy report on 17th May 2008 stated that there was semi-digested food in Aarushi's stomach. Her last meal was estimated at around 11 PM. The contents inside Hemraj's stomach were identified to be alcohol. A vaginal swab test was not conducted. Some reports say it was conducted, and that the victim was not molested or raped. Some reports claim that her autopsy report was switched.


It is baffling to note that two senior inspectors conducting the investigation were transfered barely two day after the murder. SP Mahesh Mishra was transferred out of the city on 18th May 2008. What kind of a police authority transfers key official right after or during an impending double homicide? 


Startling Contradictions:


It may be recalled that the father had claimed to have called Hemraj on his cellphone earlier that morning. The TeleCommunications Department denied this: no doctor's calls featured in the Missed Calls' category on Hemraj's phone - when it was discovered. 


The parents' side of story: Both the doctors returned home at around 10 PM on Wednesday, 15th May 2008. They had dinner at around 10: 30 PM. Dr. Rajesh Talwar went to his daughter's bedroom later that night to ask something about the internet and that was the last time he saw her alive. The following morning, he also said he opened the door to let the maid in. 


The Contradiction: The driver stated that both the doctors had not gone to work on Wednesday. The maid stated that Dr. Nupur Talwar had thrown the keys down for her to open and get inside the house.


Dr. Nupur Talwar later stated she'd asked Hemraj to go to the house on Wednesday, since Aarushi was alone in the house. On a routine basis, he carried out certain duties in the clinic, but a day before the murder, the wife told him to be in the house instead.


Major lapses in the case


One of the most baffling aspect in this case - apart from the crime itself - is the way the investigation was conducted and carried out. The crime scene is always closed and secured- for the fear of being CONTAMINATED - only allowing the cops (related to the case) and other experts to access it. Yet, the parents, maids, helpers, other people were freely accessing the place. 


Some news from the evidence front stated that there were four glasses and a bottle of whiskey were found in the house. What I don't understand is what the hell happened to the evidence? Hair, finger prints, trail of blood, anything? Why is it so difficult to solve this case? The crime scene itself can provide important clues. 


Another theory that is in the favour of the parents is that probably, Krishna, Shambhu, Rajkumar (domestic helpers of the Talwar family) and Hemraj himself, were drinking on Wednesday night. Krishna was the helper at the clinic. Apparently, they got drunk, and Krishna went up to aarushi's room and started to molest her in the presence of Shambhu and Rajkumar. He was pissed off at Dr. Talwar for shouting at him in front of her patients for not conducting his duties properly. Hemraj tried to stop him, and was killed.


But can two parents sleep soundly in the same house where their daughter is being raped and a domestic helper is killed, and his dead body is dragged all the way to the roof-top? Both the parents, have, replied to this question: the AC was switched on, so in the noise they couldn't hear a thing. Also, how would a servant be capable of conducting that skillful incision on the throats of the victims?


The Other Woman Connection
It was found out that Dr. Rajesh Talwar had made around 197 calls to a certain fellow female companion, and on the day before the murder he had called her 6 times. She used to work at the same hospital. And the rumour has it that he often used to bring her to the house, in the absence of his wife. The servants knew about their affair, and apparently, Hemraj had also confided the same in Aarushi. 


The wife vehemently denied this and said she had complete faith in her husband. Also, during the polygraph test or the lie-detector test, both the husband and wife would evade questions or simply not answer them. Sometimes, the wife used to be late for conducting these tests. 


Let's assume that if Dr. Rajesh Talwar has not committed the murders, and is his wife is not an accomplice, then why do they evade questions? What are they hiding? Who are they protecting?


Another theory states that on the fateful night, Dr. Rajesh Talwar saw Aarushi and Hemraj in a comprising position and that drove him to committing an act of passion. A crime of passion. I believe that no parent can take such a step. Honour killing is not a reality in a household which has such qualified doctors with amazing political connections. This act can be safely reserved to down-trodden families, masked in a generation of denial and poverty. Also, her close friends say that such a claim is preposterous and the media shouldn't indulge in character assassination of the dead. Hemraj's son-in-law says that he was a man of dignity and he would never do such a thing. 


A social worker had confided to the cops that a few days before he was killed, Hemraj had called her, and said that he believed that his life was in danger. The woman said she'd meet him after some days since she was busy. Turned out to be too late for Hemraj. Reports claim that Dr. Rajesh Talwar was growing wary of the household gossip amongst the servants about his alleged affair with the fellow doctor and had warned Hemraj a couple of times. But Hemraj had confided this to the daughter and she was disturbed too. She had planned on confronting her father regarding this.


But what is a daughter's life in comparison to an exposed affair? 


Aarushi was the only daughter, and she was conceived after a tumultuous five years of their marriage? Are parents really capable of doing that? And not just any parents, but the ones who were wealthy and well qualified? 


If the father killed the daughter, what was the motive? A threat of an exposed affair, to me, is simply not motive enough to kill one's own child.


Can the domestic helpers carry out such a heinous crime without attracting an iota of attention or suspicion from the parents in the same house?


Or, is the killer really roaming free, after skillfully carrying out such a crime(s), with the scalpel, so as to point all the fingers at Dr. Rajesh Talwar?


What are the parents hiding? Who are they protecting? Does this case hold secrets of a much larger political gamble? What is the stake?


Sometimes I think we should make use of satellite imaging to crack such cases. On a rational and a more real level, I firmly believe that a crime scene and an honest investigation is enough to solve cases. The way in which the entire investigation was carried out and the media circus and the political transfers that have happened in the case, I feel sorry at the country's state of affairs and law and order. May be they don't want us to find out.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

To Love/ Affirmation

This is my first post for 2011. And I am happy to dedicate it to the people I deeply care about: my closest darling, the whirlwind of a woman and the comfort of a deep, twinkling light, Jasmine; my best friend with whom I have the comfort of fighting and smiling, soon after :D, DC; the quiet yet intense friend, and my reminder of the best of my life and my own self, Deepak Nagar; and the cutest couple in town, my geeky nerdy  (raised to the power of n, where n = infinity) friend, Atul and his Prajakta.


And most importantly, here's a toast to my beautiful cousin (not related by birth, though) Meghna and her fiance to be, Subodh; Utpal, Nirzari and their kiddo, Dev.


Utpal is an old, old friend, and like old wine, our friendship, too seems to age better. I was happy to meet Nirzari, his ever smiling, and strikingly beautiful wife. I had a great time shopping with her for earrings at Colaba. I cherish such moments of girl-bonding. It's better than a date, anyday. And with the arrival of Dev, they make a perfect family. Touchwood.


This world can seem like a dark, forsaken place, more often than not: mistakes are committed, fallacies of people and even beloved ones not forgotten and worse, not forgiven. It takes little to dampen the human spirit. Very few people can look back at themselves and smile. Smile at their own mistakes, acknowledge the hurt they have caused others, and their own self. Some people said the hardest thing was to forgive one's own self. 


And of course, there's the curse of The Human Condition.


In times like these, I am happy to be overjoyed with the beautiful, and by far the most important achievement of my near and dear ones. They make this beautiful world, a little more beautiful place.... they add a little extra sparkle to sunshine, re-affirming all our hearts with the mystery of our fates, destinies, gods or Powers That Be... and that we are safe placing our trust in their plans, and most importantly, in our own selves.


This is a time of joy, and of love. Of our own very personal brand of Sunshine.


And this is also the time where I try not to use too many "and"s.


Dedicated also to my oldest friend, Manish Rajani, who gives nostalgia a whole new world of meaning and pain; Rahul Valia, a person who can make a sad day seem the funniest of my life, and Juice a.k.a. Jyotsna Pathak, a very beautiful woman, wonderful human being and my sparkling friend who deserves the best.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

A Beautiful Wednesday

Sometimes life just brings the best - all that can happen to you and even inside of you. It's like meeting a new person inside of you.

It's like you're sitting on a table, it's an elongated birthday party - yours - and you are unwrapping presents one after the other. I wonder what happened first - falling in love with him and then life, or the other way round. But then - does it matter?

And you look at every crisis that has occurred, and every crisis that's on its way, due in a couple of days, weeks, you look at everything, how bad you can be hit, and how deep you'll fall, still you find yourself smiling in this moment. May be this is the state I've waited for all my life. To live, to love the moment. And he's not even here. Nor are the crises. And his thought, this moment will be summoned to, in that moment.

****

For the nth time, I find myself quitting the company and taking a road never traveled before. Felt awesome when my family drove down to my office to pick me up. In typical Hollywood movie style, I got my photoframe (a sexy one, bearing a still from the movie, "The Rakes" starring Micheal Caine and Jude Law), a silver, diamond studded Ganesha and a deep (sea) blue paper weight, some law books, pen-holder, and three marker pens, pencils, and sharpener in the brown box. Tucked it in the car, and drove for dinner. I really felt like celebrating my freedom and a decision that might come to be regretted, but every time I've done something that felt like this, I've thoroughly enjoyed myself, even if it's harmed me!

Whenever I came to work to town, to that picture perfect sunshine filled horizon kissing the Arabian Sea, I felt I have come back home. Today I felt like I am going to be off to conquer a new land... somewhere far from home. May be that is home. So not 'Drops of Jupiter'. 

We ate at Gaylord's, though the first choice was the Continental food joint, RELISH, suggested by Dad, of course. But no one was willing to wait a good 30 minutes before we got a seat. Plus, that joint is always noisy, even in mid-week. So we walked to Gaylord's. Dad insisted the ambiance and so we moved inside, instead of the more comfortable open air section. I was carrying my lively- pink shawl, so I braced myself. We ate, and I felt like celebrating. I don't do dinners usually, since I am exceptionally lousy at it, but tonight, I felt like celebrating. I knew Alexander would be fixing himself something hot, and much yummier (he's an awesome cook). A couple of sneezes later, I enjoyed my chicken, and Goan Prawn Curry, along with some piping hot biryani. I could have even ordered Champagne tonight - only deal was that somebody had to drive a good 30 kms back home. I was enjoying a dinner. And the thought of telling it to Alexander (that I made it through it, and I had chicken!!!) made it more enjoyable.

Then we had some heated peanuts, and went to Gateway of India. There we clicked pictures. Nothing beats a nice family photo, and breaking into laughter over a joke cracked by Dad! The sea was at rest, all decorated with boats and cruise liners. I wish I could watch the sunrise someday on the west coast.

We got into the car, and since there was no traffic, the drive was particularly enjoyable. Autumn wind whispering in to your ears and kissing your face, as if it knew the secret of your smile, of your love. Got some balloons on the way, had a balloon fight with Shruti :D and that was one highlight of the evening! We later dumped those for Daku who chased them in the house. As I walked him later on, I realised that winter was setting in, a season ready to change. And so am I.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Birthday Present

Sometimes, life just becomes beautiful. Unexpectedly.
It brings those moments that come to define you. And may be it defines life, itself.

Me and my family were leaving the theatre, and my kid sis, unexpectedly, says, "Well, Happy Birthday once again, Di," and touched my feet.

That moment was beautiful and it left me speechless. As if life suddenly opens up to you and presents you a diamond under "windfall gains" :D

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

How to Propose a Girl

I can't believe that I am actually writing this post.

Background:
A lot of guys these days want to evaluate all the risk before asking the girl "that" question. It has always amazed me. Girls are NOT Mutual Funds.

The defense they offer is that they don't want to embarrass the girl or make her feel awkward and yak yak. The truth is they are scared. And my sympathy rests with all of them. But being in love itself is a scarier thing ;)
The most fascinating thing in love is to observe one's own self: the difference that person's call, her thoughts, the memory of her smile, etc. makes to you. It's exciting to think that you too, have fallen in love. It's like having jaundice, and seeing everything as [Coldplay] yellow.

The next step, of course, is not be consummated by that feeling that you feel within. It is time to listen and try and understand the language of her eyes. And it is not fun. Given the factor of complicacy and hypocrisy, you'll have a tough time. But then, you'll venture out only if you think the woman is worth it. So it is a litmus test.

Now some women like to be chased-- they think it is a measure of your "seriousness" towards her. It is a fallacious measure. For men can chase women harder and longer for their lust. Ahem, no pun intended really. Even women, can, for that matter.

Some women are two steps ahead of you :) while you're watching yourself bloom under the moons of her eyes, she is supplying you will all the shiny material for day-dreaming. She is only just waiting for you to go down on your knees.

Yes, sigh, that is indeed, mandatory. Women will never make you forget it if you didn't go down on your knees to ask that question.

Here's a quick checklist so far:
  1. Don't judge or psycho-analyse her. Let her be.
  2. Fight, but also make-up.
  3. Be brutally honest, but also responsive towards the moments when she needs criticism or care.
  4. If you understand that she also understands you and considers you special or important, then you may consider proposing her.
Don't ask her, "If I propose you then what will you do?"
I would hit him in the head. Apart from being a crime, it is also a major turn-off.

Guys need to be confident about the woman they want to propose. Confidence comes from knowing: that she also feels the same way. All the answers to your doubts lie in her eyes. Watch them.

Many times, women need to self-affirm their feelings for you, so they avoid looking in your eyes deliberately. Give her that space. Wait, but do not advertise or complain that you're waiting.

And then, take a step foward and risk all you have. Even if she accused you of misunderstanding and all that jazz, refer her this article. Else drop me a mail.

How to actually propose:

There are only two ways in which a woman really would like to be proposed: one is if you propose her in front of your family and close friends, and two, when you do it under the moon and stars with no one else but you and her.

Many women don't like a clandestine affair, or when you try to hide her from everyone you know. They like to know that people close to you are aware that she is a part of your life: that could just be a great compliment for her, if she really loves you.

And please, make that in person: no texts, no calls, no email, no video-conferencing.

No touching, no holding of hands, no kissing, before you propose.

Do it in your own style- in rain, snow, or pure sunshine.... in front of your parents, or rest of the world.... just mean it.

Coming up: Top 5 proposal episodes....

Obsession versus Love

If the object of your love told you that he is not in love with with you, what would you do?
You'd be devastated. Shattered. Sad. But here's what you'd do: you'd maintain grace, smile, wish the person all the best and move on. "Move on" could mean two things: one, is that you move on, and find another person to love; or you could "move on" with your life. May be you could only love that person and that person alone and you'd wish him the best. The road is tough.

This versus the scenario where the object of your obsession told you that he is not in love with you, what would you do?
You'd be devastated. Shattered. Sad. And here's what you'd do: you'd still keep calling, messaging, trying to meet that person. Even after repeated versions of the truth falling at your ears, you'd not be able to accept the "defeat". Yes, it would be a defeat to you. The center of your existence depends on that person's talking with you. Ownership. Possession.

I had a taste of the latter case recently, and for the first time in my life I was scared of myself. When the person held my hands (against my wish and visible uncomfort) I felt like screaming, and probably even hitting. The rage that formed within me was scary. I knew if I let myself go, I would turn the whole thing into one uglier mess, become a werewolf or something.

One of the saddest things in life is to apologise to someone for not loving him back. I believe everyone has the basic freedom to choose to like or love or to be with someone. And if you are a victim of an unrequited love, then may God be with you, you only have your love, your belief and your faith. You cannot - absolutely cannot - "tell" that person more than once that you love him. There's a sanctity in everything.

Dedicated to Jasmine -- Hope you will find your Prince very soon. Else, we can still spend an old ladies' evening together 50 years from now! :)

Monday, September 6, 2010

Vantage Points

The vantage points of a life.
Was reading a book yesterday that inherently highlighted that destiny is the ultimate thing/ entity. If we win or lose, it is our destiny. If we did something bad in our lives, it was destiny that made us do it.

Last weekend, as me and my family stopped at a place to have some tea, I saw a very old woman sitting at the footsteps of the small restaurant, having the last of her biscuit dipped in tea. And there was no tea in her plastic cup. Yet, she was trying hard to have any drop of the tea cling to her remaining biscuit just to make it softer to chew. And there were stray dogs, encroaching on her breakfast.

We ordered breakfast and tea for her too. She wrapped the "breakfast" and may be it was saved for lunch.

Dad said that feeding the hungry and giving water to the thirsty, is the biggest dharma of all. He said that if God chose your body for a good deed you should be happy. And that made me wonder, if God could also choose my body for a bad deed. So all the mistakes and errors and bad experiences in my life were meant to be. A perspective could make me bitter; else I could just see how much I have learned.

But no matter what vantage point you are at, that look of innocence in your eyes, is always passing by as you pass every single day. Our faces and eyes keep getting darker. We think we are "maturing" and becoming "wiser".

Trusting cautiously may be an intelligent move, but it does something to you. Makes you scared a little and bitter somewhere within. Forgiveness doesn't come easy.

Very few faces retain that look of laughter, a look of innocence -- and to me, that is the most beautiful face.

A man will rise, a man will fall
On the sheer face of love
Like a fly on the Wall
- "The Fly"

Sunday, August 22, 2010

A Bird

What a love it was
To see and survive
A life

One side
Wants to be understood -
-- graces and blessings of a love spotted and cherished
The other
Wants to be left alone -
-- the yearnings of disappearing and erasing the existence of memory

What a love it was
To fly and fall
This soul

Trenches of bones
Walking over the past and memories
Smiling as they come