It is a well known fact (of a myth?) that Lord Ram, after rescuing his wife, Sita, from the clutches of the evil demon Ravana, returned to India.
The tale could have had a happy ending if it wasn't for yet another twist. While taking a usual tour of his kingdom, a disguised Lord Ram, overheard a laundry man speaking to his wife, "I cannot accept you now... am not Lord ram accepts his wife who stayed with Ravana for so many days.... and nights..." This made Lord Ram reconsider his "love" for Sita. Disturbed, he mentioned his thoughts to her, and stunned, all Sita could do was say, with her hands folded, looking towards heaven, "Oh, Mother Earth, if I am pure of the heart and the body, then take me witin you." And in a moment, the Earth swallowed her.
Men might "understand" Ram's dillemma. But women cannot really overlook this particular characteristic trait of the most ideal man.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Stuck in a Timeline - The Ayodhya Dispute
When I heard that the Ayodhya battle was still raging on, I thought, you've got to be kidding me. True, India's most controversial communal battle point disturbed a lot of people back in 1992, just a year before the 1993 bomb-blasts and riots and curfew decorated even the most civilised and modern cities in India like Delhi and Mumbai. But that was 18 years ago. Surely, some solution would have come out of it. Or may be not. After all these years, I found the newspapers talking about a day of closure because the Allahabad High Court - not even the Supreme Court - was due to give a verdict as to whether there will be a temple or a mosque constructed at the Babri Masjid demolished site. My Mum says make a school for the kids and make all the politicians who have polticised the issue stand in a line and shoot them. Of course, that is the favourite political response of any conscientious Indian.
If you think 18 years is a long time, think again. You'll be surprised that the issue doesn't date back to 1992, or 1990 or 1949. It dates back to the 10th Century.
I thought communalism was a parting gift by the British to India in the 1940s. I was not entirely correct. In the 16th century, under the British Raj, a Muslim Noble, Mir Baqi, constructed the Babri Masjid (mosque) on the land that was claimed to be the birthplace of Ram (the Indian equivalent of an ideal man, of course he was the avatar of Lord Vishnu- but women will tend to disagree and here's how). Even during the British Rule, the dispute over the ownership of the land: whether it belongs to the Muslims or Hindus, raged on. This must have inspired the Bristish's "Divide-and-Rule" policy.
Interestingly, in 1949, somehow Hindu idols "appear" inside the mosque, giving a fresh claim of ownership to the Hindus, and a new form of communalism in the new Republic. The chasm between Hindus and Muslims only widened following the bloodbath that the partition entailed. Muslims alleged that these idols were "placed" within the premises. The government claimed the ownership of the land; however, they allow the puja to be performed in 1950, when Hindu worshippers insisted for offering prayers to the newly found idols in the mosque. I bet they must have argued that it was a miracle.
It was in 1961 that the first case was filed by the Sunni Wakf Board claiming ownership of the land, contending that the land was a mosque and surrounding area was a graveyard. In 1984, L K Advani, an upcoming political force of the BJP, India's premier Opposition Party, spearheaded the "regaining" temple movement. A District Judge in Allahabad in 1986 opened the premises to the Hindus. The decision was criticised by the Muslims and the matter got escalated to the Allahabad High Court. Notwithstanding the impending decision, in 1989, the then Prime Minister of India, Rajiv Gandhi, let the disputed mosque/ temple be open for a ground opening ceremony. L K Advani, who had become the President of the BJP, riding high on political fervour, undertook a controversial road trip to Ayodhya in September 1990. Series of riots broke out. He was arrested a month later.
On 6th December, 1992, the Masjid is demolished and the government led by Prime Ministed P V Narsimha Rao somehow let a "makeshift" temple "appear" at the site. This point in the Indian political history is marked by an all-time high communal tension.
Finally, in 2003, the Allahabad High Court appointed the Archealogical Survey of India (ASI) to study the excavations and submit a report as to if the temple really existed at the premises. The ASI report confirmed that a tenth century temple existed at the site where a mosque was built by Mir Baqi in 1528. Shocking. A week later the All India Muslim Personal Law Board challenged the report in the High Court.
In July 2010, the High Court gave a chance to the parties to settle their disputes, but no one came forward to talk. The Supreme Court, too, last week, intervened and deffered the judgment, asking the parties to have an out of court settlement. Without a response, however, the apex court asked the Allahabad High Court to pronounce the verdict on 30th Septemeber, 2010.
Whatever the High Court pronounces today, the decision will still be challenged before the Supreme Court. And that day, there'll be another holiday. A new generation of India, wondering what the noise and police security is all about; and after discovering the reason, they are guaranteed to be bowled over by the reason. And amidst the shock and the pessimistic streak that every Indian gets in legacy, there will be a slight tinge of shame. A country that makes use of the word secularism and democracy in the highest regards, is still grappling and politicising an issue such as this.
The world is watching, and our souls are aware too.
If you think 18 years is a long time, think again. You'll be surprised that the issue doesn't date back to 1992, or 1990 or 1949. It dates back to the 10th Century.
I thought communalism was a parting gift by the British to India in the 1940s. I was not entirely correct. In the 16th century, under the British Raj, a Muslim Noble, Mir Baqi, constructed the Babri Masjid (mosque) on the land that was claimed to be the birthplace of Ram (the Indian equivalent of an ideal man, of course he was the avatar of Lord Vishnu- but women will tend to disagree and here's how). Even during the British Rule, the dispute over the ownership of the land: whether it belongs to the Muslims or Hindus, raged on. This must have inspired the Bristish's "Divide-and-Rule" policy.
Interestingly, in 1949, somehow Hindu idols "appear" inside the mosque, giving a fresh claim of ownership to the Hindus, and a new form of communalism in the new Republic. The chasm between Hindus and Muslims only widened following the bloodbath that the partition entailed. Muslims alleged that these idols were "placed" within the premises. The government claimed the ownership of the land; however, they allow the puja to be performed in 1950, when Hindu worshippers insisted for offering prayers to the newly found idols in the mosque. I bet they must have argued that it was a miracle.
It was in 1961 that the first case was filed by the Sunni Wakf Board claiming ownership of the land, contending that the land was a mosque and surrounding area was a graveyard. In 1984, L K Advani, an upcoming political force of the BJP, India's premier Opposition Party, spearheaded the "regaining" temple movement. A District Judge in Allahabad in 1986 opened the premises to the Hindus. The decision was criticised by the Muslims and the matter got escalated to the Allahabad High Court. Notwithstanding the impending decision, in 1989, the then Prime Minister of India, Rajiv Gandhi, let the disputed mosque/ temple be open for a ground opening ceremony. L K Advani, who had become the President of the BJP, riding high on political fervour, undertook a controversial road trip to Ayodhya in September 1990. Series of riots broke out. He was arrested a month later.
On 6th December, 1992, the Masjid is demolished and the government led by Prime Ministed P V Narsimha Rao somehow let a "makeshift" temple "appear" at the site. This point in the Indian political history is marked by an all-time high communal tension.
Finally, in 2003, the Allahabad High Court appointed the Archealogical Survey of India (ASI) to study the excavations and submit a report as to if the temple really existed at the premises. The ASI report confirmed that a tenth century temple existed at the site where a mosque was built by Mir Baqi in 1528. Shocking. A week later the All India Muslim Personal Law Board challenged the report in the High Court.
In July 2010, the High Court gave a chance to the parties to settle their disputes, but no one came forward to talk. The Supreme Court, too, last week, intervened and deffered the judgment, asking the parties to have an out of court settlement. Without a response, however, the apex court asked the Allahabad High Court to pronounce the verdict on 30th Septemeber, 2010.
Whatever the High Court pronounces today, the decision will still be challenged before the Supreme Court. And that day, there'll be another holiday. A new generation of India, wondering what the noise and police security is all about; and after discovering the reason, they are guaranteed to be bowled over by the reason. And amidst the shock and the pessimistic streak that every Indian gets in legacy, there will be a slight tinge of shame. A country that makes use of the word secularism and democracy in the highest regards, is still grappling and politicising an issue such as this.
The world is watching, and our souls are aware too.
"Eid ka Chand" 2010
Here's some shots of the famed Eid ka Chand this year. Spotted it accidentally from the kitchen window while cooking something at a friend's place :D
My camera battery had died down on me :( hence the effect.
My camera battery had died down on me :( hence the effect.
How to Propose a Girl
I can't believe that I am actually writing this post.
Background:
A lot of guys these days want to evaluate all the risk before asking the girl "that" question. It has always amazed me. Girls are NOT Mutual Funds.
The defense they offer is that they don't want to embarrass the girl or make her feel awkward and yak yak. The truth is they are scared. And my sympathy rests with all of them. But being in love itself is a scarier thing ;)
The most fascinating thing in love is to observe one's own self: the difference that person's call, her thoughts, the memory of her smile, etc. makes to you. It's exciting to think that you too, have fallen in love. It's like having jaundice, and seeing everything as [Coldplay] yellow.
The next step, of course, is not be consummated by that feeling that you feel within. It is time to listen and try and understand the language of her eyes. And it is not fun. Given the factor of complicacy and hypocrisy, you'll have a tough time. But then, you'll venture out only if you think the woman is worth it. So it is a litmus test.
Now some women like to be chased-- they think it is a measure of your "seriousness" towards her. It is a fallacious measure. For men can chase women harder and longer for their lust. Ahem, no pun intended really. Even women, can, for that matter.
Some women are two steps ahead of you :) while you're watching yourself bloom under the moons of her eyes, she is supplying you will all the shiny material for day-dreaming. She is only just waiting for you to go down on your knees.
Yes, sigh, that is indeed, mandatory. Women will never make you forget it if you didn't go down on your knees to ask that question.
Here's a quick checklist so far:
I would hit him in the head. Apart from being a crime, it is also a major turn-off.
Guys need to be confident about the woman they want to propose. Confidence comes from knowing: that she also feels the same way. All the answers to your doubts lie in her eyes. Watch them.
Many times, women need to self-affirm their feelings for you, so they avoid looking in your eyes deliberately. Give her that space. Wait, but do not advertise or complain that you're waiting.
And then, take a step foward and risk all you have. Even if she accused you of misunderstanding and all that jazz, refer her this article. Else drop me a mail.
How to actually propose:
There are only two ways in which a woman really would like to be proposed: one is if you propose her in front of your family and close friends, and two, when you do it under the moon and stars with no one else but you and her.
Many women don't like a clandestine affair, or when you try to hide her from everyone you know. They like to know that people close to you are aware that she is a part of your life: that could just be a great compliment for her, if she really loves you.
And please, make that in person: no texts, no calls, no email, no video-conferencing.
No touching, no holding of hands, no kissing, before you propose.
Do it in your own style- in rain, snow, or pure sunshine.... in front of your parents, or rest of the world.... just mean it.
Coming up: Top 5 proposal episodes....
Background:
A lot of guys these days want to evaluate all the risk before asking the girl "that" question. It has always amazed me. Girls are NOT Mutual Funds.
The defense they offer is that they don't want to embarrass the girl or make her feel awkward and yak yak. The truth is they are scared. And my sympathy rests with all of them. But being in love itself is a scarier thing ;)
The most fascinating thing in love is to observe one's own self: the difference that person's call, her thoughts, the memory of her smile, etc. makes to you. It's exciting to think that you too, have fallen in love. It's like having jaundice, and seeing everything as [Coldplay] yellow.
The next step, of course, is not be consummated by that feeling that you feel within. It is time to listen and try and understand the language of her eyes. And it is not fun. Given the factor of complicacy and hypocrisy, you'll have a tough time. But then, you'll venture out only if you think the woman is worth it. So it is a litmus test.
Now some women like to be chased-- they think it is a measure of your "seriousness" towards her. It is a fallacious measure. For men can chase women harder and longer for their lust. Ahem, no pun intended really. Even women, can, for that matter.
Some women are two steps ahead of you :) while you're watching yourself bloom under the moons of her eyes, she is supplying you will all the shiny material for day-dreaming. She is only just waiting for you to go down on your knees.
Yes, sigh, that is indeed, mandatory. Women will never make you forget it if you didn't go down on your knees to ask that question.
Here's a quick checklist so far:
- Don't judge or psycho-analyse her. Let her be.
- Fight, but also make-up.
- Be brutally honest, but also responsive towards the moments when she needs criticism or care.
- If you understand that she also understands you and considers you special or important, then you may consider proposing her.
I would hit him in the head. Apart from being a crime, it is also a major turn-off.
Guys need to be confident about the woman they want to propose. Confidence comes from knowing: that she also feels the same way. All the answers to your doubts lie in her eyes. Watch them.
Many times, women need to self-affirm their feelings for you, so they avoid looking in your eyes deliberately. Give her that space. Wait, but do not advertise or complain that you're waiting.
And then, take a step foward and risk all you have. Even if she accused you of misunderstanding and all that jazz, refer her this article. Else drop me a mail.
How to actually propose:
There are only two ways in which a woman really would like to be proposed: one is if you propose her in front of your family and close friends, and two, when you do it under the moon and stars with no one else but you and her.
Many women don't like a clandestine affair, or when you try to hide her from everyone you know. They like to know that people close to you are aware that she is a part of your life: that could just be a great compliment for her, if she really loves you.
And please, make that in person: no texts, no calls, no email, no video-conferencing.
No touching, no holding of hands, no kissing, before you propose.
Do it in your own style- in rain, snow, or pure sunshine.... in front of your parents, or rest of the world.... just mean it.
Coming up: Top 5 proposal episodes....
Obsession versus Love
If the object of your love told you that he is not in love with with you, what would you do?
You'd be devastated. Shattered. Sad. But here's what you'd do: you'd maintain grace, smile, wish the person all the best and move on. "Move on" could mean two things: one, is that you move on, and find another person to love; or you could "move on" with your life. May be you could only love that person and that person alone and you'd wish him the best. The road is tough.
This versus the scenario where the object of your obsession told you that he is not in love with you, what would you do?
You'd be devastated. Shattered. Sad. And here's what you'd do: you'd still keep calling, messaging, trying to meet that person. Even after repeated versions of the truth falling at your ears, you'd not be able to accept the "defeat". Yes, it would be a defeat to you. The center of your existence depends on that person's talking with you. Ownership. Possession.
I had a taste of the latter case recently, and for the first time in my life I was scared of myself. When the person held my hands (against my wish and visible uncomfort) I felt like screaming, and probably even hitting. The rage that formed within me was scary. I knew if I let myself go, I would turn the whole thing into one uglier mess, become a werewolf or something.
One of the saddest things in life is to apologise to someone for not loving him back. I believe everyone has the basic freedom to choose to like or love or to be with someone. And if you are a victim of an unrequited love, then may God be with you, you only have your love, your belief and your faith. You cannot - absolutely cannot - "tell" that person more than once that you love him. There's a sanctity in everything.
Dedicated to Jasmine -- Hope you will find your Prince very soon. Else, we can still spend an old ladies' evening together 50 years from now! :)
You'd be devastated. Shattered. Sad. But here's what you'd do: you'd maintain grace, smile, wish the person all the best and move on. "Move on" could mean two things: one, is that you move on, and find another person to love; or you could "move on" with your life. May be you could only love that person and that person alone and you'd wish him the best. The road is tough.
This versus the scenario where the object of your obsession told you that he is not in love with you, what would you do?
You'd be devastated. Shattered. Sad. And here's what you'd do: you'd still keep calling, messaging, trying to meet that person. Even after repeated versions of the truth falling at your ears, you'd not be able to accept the "defeat". Yes, it would be a defeat to you. The center of your existence depends on that person's talking with you. Ownership. Possession.
I had a taste of the latter case recently, and for the first time in my life I was scared of myself. When the person held my hands (against my wish and visible uncomfort) I felt like screaming, and probably even hitting. The rage that formed within me was scary. I knew if I let myself go, I would turn the whole thing into one uglier mess, become a werewolf or something.
One of the saddest things in life is to apologise to someone for not loving him back. I believe everyone has the basic freedom to choose to like or love or to be with someone. And if you are a victim of an unrequited love, then may God be with you, you only have your love, your belief and your faith. You cannot - absolutely cannot - "tell" that person more than once that you love him. There's a sanctity in everything.
Dedicated to Jasmine -- Hope you will find your Prince very soon. Else, we can still spend an old ladies' evening together 50 years from now! :)
Bites and Bangalore
My dog, Daku, the centre of my world and of experimenting with video-making, has bit me twice in a span of 5 weeks. When his hair's cut, he looks like a rogue on the run, and with his soft, thick, golden mane, he looks more royal than a princess! :D My nanaji calls him a special dog, since he has five fingers (!!!) and my other close friend, Jasmine Desai, says that he has a look of wisdom on his face.The second time he bit me, he did it with a sense of timing. He bit me a
t 2 AM in the night.... and the following day I had a flight to catch to Bangalore. And I had to do it before hitting my office. My flight was delayed by 20 mins and I still managed to miss it. I'd say the Jet Airways Manager did not like me and I'd also like to add that the manager was a female. [Later on, a friend of mine said that I should have tried talking to a male manager instead.] [Much later on, another friend of mine said that Jet Airways always did that.]
t 2 AM in the night.... and the following day I had a flight to catch to Bangalore. And I had to do it before hitting my office. My flight was delayed by 20 mins and I still managed to miss it. I'd say the Jet Airways Manager did not like me and I'd also like to add that the manager was a female. [Later on, a friend of mine said that I should have tried talking to a male manager instead.] [Much later on, another friend of mine said that Jet Airways always did that.] After 4 hours, I got another flight. The first thing I did after landing in Bang
alore was to search for a doctor to give me an anti-Rabies shot. They say it has to be taken within 24 hours of the dog-bite. Luckily, I got a very sweet, old, doc in Kormangalam, who was mainly a kiddies' specialist. And that the reason why I waited to exclaim "F..." in pain, but the word never got out of my mouth. I was so surprised. But for the next shot, after a gap of 48 hours, I managed to find myself a homeopathy doc, who told me just before injecting, not to scream. I said don't make me. And immediately thereafter I exclaimed in pain, "F...".Monday, September 6, 2010
Vantage Points
The vantage points of a life.
Was reading a book yesterday that inherently highlighted that destiny is the ultimate thing/ entity. If we win or lose, it is our destiny. If we did something bad in our lives, it was destiny that made us do it.
Last weekend, as me and my family stopped at a place to have some tea, I saw a very old woman sitting at the footsteps of the small restaurant, having the last of her biscuit dipped in tea. And there was no tea in her plastic cup. Yet, she was trying hard to have any drop of the tea cling to her remaining biscuit just to make it softer to chew. And there were stray dogs, encroaching on her breakfast.
We ordered breakfast and tea for her too. She wrapped the "breakfast" and may be it was saved for lunch.
Dad said that feeding the hungry and giving water to the thirsty, is the biggest dharma of all. He said that if God chose your body for a good deed you should be happy. And that made me wonder, if God could also choose my body for a bad deed. So all the mistakes and errors and bad experiences in my life were meant to be. A perspective could make me bitter; else I could just see how much I have learned.
But no matter what vantage point you are at, that look of innocence in your eyes, is always passing by as you pass every single day. Our faces and eyes keep getting darker. We think we are "maturing" and becoming "wiser".
Trusting cautiously may be an intelligent move, but it does something to you. Makes you scared a little and bitter somewhere within. Forgiveness doesn't come easy.
Very few faces retain that look of laughter, a look of innocence -- and to me, that is the most beautiful face.
A man will rise, a man will fall
On the sheer face of love
Like a fly on the Wall
- "The Fly"
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