Together We Will Live Forever

The Wind brings a new change, a new season.
And when the heart sings songs to the moon and prays at every Cross a Church holds, red in the black, I realise the innocence is still there. A heart that can melt at the thought of a romance, a soulmate and a soul that can tremble at the very thought of hurting someone and being hurt in return.
It's like an ancient tree which realises there's still some gum left in the bark.
It's a great joy to learn that after so much, and after so long, one is not immune to love, or seeming thoughts of love. It's a great joy to learn that something can still hurt. And you can still ache and be pained.
Vital signs.... of life. And that your soul is still breathing, still journeying. Still counting on the wisdom it has accumulated over the previous births... and even this one, still. Still banking on you to listen to your heart and take the right decision, stay true to yourself.
Amen.

For those who love, here's a haunting song, "a bath for your soul" by Clint Mansell: "Together We Will Live Forever"

To Love/ Affirmation

This is my first post for 2011. And I am happy to dedicate it to the people I deeply care about: my closest darling, the whirlwind of a woman and the comfort of a deep, twinkling light, Jasmine; my best friend with whom I have the comfort of fighting and smiling, soon after :D, DC; the quiet yet intense friend, and my reminder of the best of my life and my own self, Deepak Nagar; and the cutest couple in town, my geeky nerdy  (raised to the power of n, where n = infinity) friend, Atul and his Prajakta.


And most importantly, here's a toast to my beautiful cousin (not related by birth, though) Meghna and her fiance to be, Subodh; Utpal, Nirzari and their kiddo, Dev.


Utpal is an old, old friend, and like old wine, our friendship, too seems to age better. I was happy to meet Nirzari, his ever smiling, and strikingly beautiful wife. I had a great time shopping with her for earrings at Colaba. I cherish such moments of girl-bonding. It's better than a date, anyday. And with the arrival of Dev, they make a perfect family. Touchwood.


This world can seem like a dark, forsaken place, more often than not: mistakes are committed, fallacies of people and even beloved ones not forgotten and worse, not forgiven. It takes little to dampen the human spirit. Very few people can look back at themselves and smile. Smile at their own mistakes, acknowledge the hurt they have caused others, and their own self. Some people said the hardest thing was to forgive one's own self. 


And of course, there's the curse of The Human Condition.


In times like these, I am happy to be overjoyed with the beautiful, and by far the most important achievement of my near and dear ones. They make this beautiful world, a little more beautiful place.... they add a little extra sparkle to sunshine, re-affirming all our hearts with the mystery of our fates, destinies, gods or Powers That Be... and that we are safe placing our trust in their plans, and most importantly, in our own selves.


This is a time of joy, and of love. Of our own very personal brand of Sunshine.


And this is also the time where I try not to use too many "and"s.


Dedicated also to my oldest friend, Manish Rajani, who gives nostalgia a whole new world of meaning and pain; Rahul Valia, a person who can make a sad day seem the funniest of my life, and Juice a.k.a. Jyotsna Pathak, a very beautiful woman, wonderful human being and my sparkling friend who deserves the best.

Love Conquers All :)

I know am writing after a long time... and it had to be a news of this magnitude to make me connected to the world. I am down with food poisoning. I am drinking electrol (yuck raised to infinity!). And this is by far the first post on my newest, sexy (an adjective used by my Mum for my newest gadget) laptop :D

I've been low for the past 3-4 days on account of food poisoning, and am sipping my electrol... pretending it to be champagne :D as I write this post.

A Beautiful Wednesday

Sometimes life just brings the best - all that can happen to you and even inside of you. It's like meeting a new person inside of you.

It's like you're sitting on a table, it's an elongated birthday party - yours - and you are unwrapping presents one after the other. I wonder what happened first - falling in love with him and then life, or the other way round. But then - does it matter?

And you look at every crisis that has occurred, and every crisis that's on its way, due in a couple of days, weeks, you look at everything, how bad you can be hit, and how deep you'll fall, still you find yourself smiling in this moment. May be this is the state I've waited for all my life. To live, to love the moment. And he's not even here. Nor are the crises. And his thought, this moment will be summoned to, in that moment.

****

For the nth time, I find myself quitting the company and taking a road never traveled before. Felt awesome when my family drove down to my office to pick me up. In typical Hollywood movie style, I got my photoframe (a sexy one, bearing a still from the movie, "The Rakes" starring Micheal Caine and Jude Law), a silver, diamond studded Ganesha and a deep (sea) blue paper weight, some law books, pen-holder, and three marker pens, pencils, and sharpener in the brown box. Tucked it in the car, and drove for dinner. I really felt like celebrating my freedom and a decision that might come to be regretted, but every time I've done something that felt like this, I've thoroughly enjoyed myself, even if it's harmed me!

Whenever I came to work to town, to that picture perfect sunshine filled horizon kissing the Arabian Sea, I felt I have come back home. Today I felt like I am going to be off to conquer a new land... somewhere far from home. May be that is home. So not 'Drops of Jupiter'. 

We ate at Gaylord's, though the first choice was the Continental food joint, RELISH, suggested by Dad, of course. But no one was willing to wait a good 30 minutes before we got a seat. Plus, that joint is always noisy, even in mid-week. So we walked to Gaylord's. Dad insisted the ambiance and so we moved inside, instead of the more comfortable open air section. I was carrying my lively- pink shawl, so I braced myself. We ate, and I felt like celebrating. I don't do dinners usually, since I am exceptionally lousy at it, but tonight, I felt like celebrating. I knew Alexander would be fixing himself something hot, and much yummier (he's an awesome cook). A couple of sneezes later, I enjoyed my chicken, and Goan Prawn Curry, along with some piping hot biryani. I could have even ordered Champagne tonight - only deal was that somebody had to drive a good 30 kms back home. I was enjoying a dinner. And the thought of telling it to Alexander (that I made it through it, and I had chicken!!!) made it more enjoyable.

Then we had some heated peanuts, and went to Gateway of India. There we clicked pictures. Nothing beats a nice family photo, and breaking into laughter over a joke cracked by Dad! The sea was at rest, all decorated with boats and cruise liners. I wish I could watch the sunrise someday on the west coast.

We got into the car, and since there was no traffic, the drive was particularly enjoyable. Autumn wind whispering in to your ears and kissing your face, as if it knew the secret of your smile, of your love. Got some balloons on the way, had a balloon fight with Shruti :D and that was one highlight of the evening! We later dumped those for Daku who chased them in the house. As I walked him later on, I realised that winter was setting in, a season ready to change. And so am I.

How to Propose a Girl

I can't believe that I am actually writing this post.

Background:
A lot of guys these days want to evaluate all the risk before asking the girl "that" question. It has always amazed me. Girls are NOT Mutual Funds.

The defense they offer is that they don't want to embarrass the girl or make her feel awkward and yak yak. The truth is they are scared. And my sympathy rests with all of them. But being in love itself is a scarier thing ;)
The most fascinating thing in love is to observe one's own self: the difference that person's call, her thoughts, the memory of her smile, etc. makes to you. It's exciting to think that you too, have fallen in love. It's like having jaundice, and seeing everything as [Coldplay] yellow.

The next step, of course, is not be consummated by that feeling that you feel within. It is time to listen and try and understand the language of her eyes. And it is not fun. Given the factor of complicacy and hypocrisy, you'll have a tough time. But then, you'll venture out only if you think the woman is worth it. So it is a litmus test.

Now some women like to be chased-- they think it is a measure of your "seriousness" towards her. It is a fallacious measure. For men can chase women harder and longer for their lust. Ahem, no pun intended really. Even women, can, for that matter.

Some women are two steps ahead of you :) while you're watching yourself bloom under the moons of her eyes, she is supplying you will all the shiny material for day-dreaming. She is only just waiting for you to go down on your knees.

Yes, sigh, that is indeed, mandatory. Women will never make you forget it if you didn't go down on your knees to ask that question.

Here's a quick checklist so far:

1. Don't judge or psycho-analyse her. Let her be.
2. Fight, but also make-up.
3. Be brutally honest, but also responsive towards the moments when she needs criticism or care.
4. If you understand that she also understands you and considers you special or important, then you may consider proposing her.

Don't ask her, "If I propose you then what will you do?"
I would hit him in the head. Apart from being a crime, it is also a major turn-off.

Guys need to be confident about the woman they want to propose. Confidence comes from knowing: that she also feels the same way. All the answers to your doubts lie in her eyes. Watch them.

Many times, women need to self-affirm their feelings for you, so they avoid looking in your eyes deliberately. Give her that space. Wait, but do not advertise or complain that you're waiting.

And then, take a step foward and risk all you have. Even if she accused you of misunderstanding and all that jazz, refer her this article. Else drop me a mail.

How to actually propose:

There are only two ways in which a woman really would like to be proposed: one is if you propose her in front of your family and close friends, and two, when you do it under the moon and stars with no one else but you and her.

Many women don't like a clandestine affair, or when you try to hide her from everyone you know. They like to know that people close to you are aware that she is a part of your life: that could just be a great compliment for her, if she really loves you.

And please, make that in person: no texts, no calls, no email, no video-conferencing.

No touching, no holding of hands, no kissing, before you propose.

Do it in your own style- in rain, snow, or pure sunshine.... in front of your parents, or rest of the world.... just mean it.

Coming up: Top 5 proposal episodes....

Obsession versus Love

If the object of your love told you that he is not in love with with you, what would you do?
You'd be devastated. Shattered. Sad. But here's what you'd do: you'd maintain grace, smile, wish the person all the best and move on. "Move on" could mean two things: one, is that you move on, and find another person to love; or you could "move on" with your life. May be you could only love that person and that person alone and you'd wish him the best. The road is tough.

This versus the scenario where the object of your obsession told you that he is not in love with you, what would you do?
You'd be devastated. Shattered. Sad. And here's what you'd do: you'd still keep calling, messaging, trying to meet that person. Even after repeated versions of the truth falling at your ears, you'd not be able to accept the "defeat". Yes, it would be a defeat to you. The center of your existence depends on that person's talking with you. Ownership. Possession.

I had a taste of the latter case recently, and for the first time in my life I was scared of myself. When the person held my hands (against my wish and visible uncomfort) I felt like screaming, and probably even hitting. The rage that formed within me was scary. I knew if I let myself go, I would turn the whole thing into one uglier mess, become a werewolf or something.

One of the saddest things in life is to apologise to someone for not loving him back. I believe everyone has the basic freedom to choose to like or love or to be with someone. And if you are a victim of an unrequited love, then may God be with you, you only have your love, your belief and your faith. You cannot - absolutely cannot - "tell" that person more than once that you love him. There's a sanctity in everything.

Dedicated to Jasmine -- Hope you will find your Prince very soon. Else, we can still spend an old ladies' evening together 50 years from now! :)